#27 The Feminine Mystique

I read this book in high school, at an age when I was trying to find answers to a lot of things.  I remember some parts of the book almost word for word because they made such a big impression on me then.  Recently, I feel like I'm going through a small, middle age adolescence.  My youngest will be in kindergarten next year and I've been making some huge decisions about where I want my life and consequently my family to go from here.  Much like being 16 and trying to decide what college to go to and what to study.

Perhaps because I'm trying to redefine myself from the Stay at Home Mom role I've claimed for the past 10 years, when I saw "The Feminine Mystique" was on sale on audible, I grabbed it.

The reading this time was far different than the reading my 16 year old self did.  Other women's experiences and feelings reminded me that I'm not the only one that feels the disappointment of being gifted in something that really can't be fully stretched and used as a "housewife".  For me, Betty Friedan is right on with most of her analysis about why being a SAHM is so hard for so many.

I'll admit that for years I was angry with myself about my inability to really embrace being at home taking care of kids and the house, but I've turned a new stone recently in my life, where instead of fighting who I am, I'm trying to use who I am to get myself where I want to be.  I had to admit to myself that even though I feel that my familial commitments are my priorities, being a priority doesn't mean that they have to be the only thing.

The version I listened to also includes an epilogue by Friedan.  I found her story of attempting to apply to Columbia for a PhD and being told in effect that because she was a woman, there was no reason for her to get a PhD, being told she didn't have the necessary skills and was too old to learn them.  This was after she published "The Feminine Mystique", which in and of itself is enough research and analysis to exceed thesis requirements in a lot of schools.  She then went on to describe her founding of NOW, the National Organization for Women.

"The Feminine Mystique" has given me a new found determination to do get back to science and teaching.  Its important for there to be models of women and men who choose to put their personal lives first, but are still able to find and participate in something that sparks their imaginations and facilitates growth.